Couples Therapy

In a relationship, the problem is never one person’s fault, it’s not even both people’s fault. The problem is a maladaptive cycle the relationship has developed in an effort to survive.

In couples therapy, I help partners identify the cycle they are caught in, the triggers that activate this cycle, and the reactions each person has when the cycle takes hold. We look at the roles that have formed within the relationship and how each person’s actions impact the other. Together, we identify learned behaviors, emotional wounds, and what is happening beneath the surface for each partner. Often, each person is unconsciously recreating aspects of early attachment experiences — or repeating dynamics from the relationships that were modeled for them.

Once the pattern and underlying emotions are identified and expressed, couples are able to develop greater empathy for each other’s experiences. From there, they become more open and responsive, gradually replacing old patterns with new ways of connecting. Over time, the relationship can begin to feel like a loving, secure haven for both partners.